I hurried Bentley outside. Why does he always have to go out so late at night? I take him down
to the end of the driveway. He always seems to find a spot quickly when I take
him there. As I pass it, I see it out of the corner of my eye. Why did I have to see it! It’s okay…just
don’t look over in that direction again.
“Come on, Bentley. Hurry up!” I
can feel the tension creeping into my throat, constricting it. Bentley starts
sniffing nearby it and I can’t stop myself. I look directly at it. My heart
starts to race and I feel queasy. It’s the flag pole in our yard. Why did we have to move to a place that has
a flagpole in the yard? Why? I want to run away from it with every fiber in
my body but I tell myself that I’m being irrational. There’s nothing…there’s nothing at the top. Better not look anyway.
No…I can’t look up. Just don’t look up at the top. It will be okay. Just get
inside quick and I can stop thinking about this. I pull on Bentley’s leash.
He’s had long enough out here. Must get
inside! I rush inside and April looks at me with a confused expression.
Guessing she can see the panic in my eyes I take a deep breath to try and calm
down.
“What is it, Rose?”
“I can’t say…other then I’ll say that I hate that
flagpole. I don’t even want to say the word again. And please don’t ask me why
the sight of it makes me anxious.”
“Do all flagpoles make you anxious or just that
one?”
“All of them. I just can’t look at the tops of
them.” I didn’t explain anymore but started flipping through a book. She probably thinks I’m crazy. I feel like
I’m crazy. So often flagpoles just fade into the scenery so that I don’t notice
them, but this one is in our yard! There is no ignoring it. I just wish we
could take it down! I’m just glad she didn’t ask what I’m afraid is at the top.
For some reason I’m filled with such a dread that if I try to explain what I’m
afraid is up there, describing it will make it real.
