Never Stop

-Didn't take the picture.-

So Small and Fading Fast

I feel so small.
Like I'm withering away.
Soon to disappear for good.
I wonder if I was ever here at all.

Am I the dust you'll shake off?
You only notice when I linger too long.
When I float away.
Will you remember I was ever there?

I'm the dew that hides in the shadows.
I know I must evaporate and leave.
The sun is high and I no longer belong.
Still I cling to my existence.

Even if the shadows are a lonely place.
And no one sees me here.
I hold onto the hope that you'll remember me.
You'll notice my absence and come looking.

But will I be able to be found?




7/22/13

Grandma

Grandma, I miss you.

I miss sending you cards and letters.

Telling you all my little hopes and dreams.

I miss your advice.

I miss seeing that smile that you always gave away so easily.

The way you filled the air with your laughter.

I miss having you in my corner.

Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if you were still here.

Could I still make you smile?

Could you help me understand her?

Fill in the piece of the puzzle that I’m missing.

Would you be the glue that could keep us together?

- 5/13/13

Little Things

Recently I've been trying to recognize the little things that I enjoy in my days. And when I'm in that moment, really enjoying it. Here are a few of the little things that come to my mind that I've been enjoying:

1. At least once every day I sit down on my couch and all three of my dogs get up there and sit with me. We sit for a while and I feel literally surrounded by love. ^_^

2. Sitting on the porch and watching the birds come to eat the seeds I've put out for them.

3. Curling up with my two little dogs on a chair on the porch while it's raining and drifting in and out of sleep.

4. Going down to the river and watching the sun set. Sometimes I bring music, sometimes I just listen to nature.

5. Discovering new music. Whether through listening to Pandora or searching YouTube, sometimes looking up unheard songs from bands I already love. I love music and my inner poet is overjoyed when I can find a song that perfectly speaks words I didn't know how to express.

6. Spending time on the website: Pinterest. There I create boards where I can pin pictures of places I dream of traveling to, craft projects I want to try making, quotes that encourage me, costume ideas, express what things interest me, pin make up ideas and hairstyles I want to try or pin things that  make me laugh. I probably spend too much time on this site but unlike other sites, it makes me feel happy to spend time there. I enjoy searching for new pins and looking over my boards. Plus, I've made use of some of the craft ideas on there.

All six of these are little things that I've been enjoying. I don't do all of them each day. Some days I don't do any of them. They are only significant in that they add little bits of happiness to my days. Some of them I was doing and not taking the time to recognize the moments of peace or happiness they were adding to my days.

What little things do you enjoy? (This can be a rhetorical question if you don't feel like commenting. Just something to think about.)

This Is For You

Lately, I don't know what to say, let alone think. I don't know if I'm starting to stand up again or I'm slowly falling. It feels more like floating between being okay and really not being okay. Where ever I am...where ever I'm going; I feel thankful for those who love and support me. So I wanted to write this post for those who are still there and love me. I know I don't make it easy on you and for that I'm sorry.
Part of the lyrics in the following song can probably only be applied to a spouse but overall, when I hear the lyrics I think of those who are there for me. Thanks for holding on even when it's easier to let me go.

ARMS - by Christina Perri

I never thought that you would be the one to hold my heart
But you came around and you knocked me off the ground from the start

You put your arms around me
And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go
You put your arms around me and I'm home

How many times will you let me change my mind and turn around?
I can't decide if I'll let you save my life or if I'll drown

I hope that you see right through my walls
I hope that you catch me 'cause I'm already falling
I'll never let a love get so close
You put your arms around me and I'm home

The world is coming down on me and I can't find a reason to be loved
I never wanna leave you but I can't make you bleed if I'm alone

You put your arms around me
And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go...

I hope that you see right through my walls
I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling
I'll never let a love get so close
You put your arms around me and I'm home

I tried my best to never let you in to see the truth
And I've never opened up
I've never truly loved 'til you put your arms around me
And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go

I hope that you see right through my walls
I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling
I'll never let a love get so close
You put your arms around me and I'm home

You put your arms around me and I'm home